I’ve always been an introverted person. I tend to have a few very close friends. Even as a kid I would have one or two people that I called my friend. These people are still my friends even though we live in different states. When I began working at the age of 16, I had to force myself to get out of my shell a bit. I talked to people and began relationships but it was always hard for me. My social anxiety level is high. I get nervous. I’m not good at small talk. Like why do people even do it? So because I’m shy and I don’t really care for small talk. People think I’m weird I guess. Or maybe I don’t give them enough time to get to know me. Anyway before I became a stay at home mom I was around people all the time. Even though I didn’t consider my work acquaintances friends, I always had people or adults to talk to. Whether it be complaining about work load or just grabbing a bite to eat for lunch, my work acquaintances were nice and we had something in common, our job. But then came the day I got to leave my job to stay home. My son was a little over a year and it was a decision my husband and I wanted to make for a long time.
It was great at first. Hanging out with my son all day. Running errands together, going to the zoo and fun kid places. After a few months I started feeling isolated. The only adult I spoke to was my husband and my mom. And because I’m pretty shy I don’t go out looking for people. At parks where my son played, moms came up to me to start talking and for some reason I became mute. Why are they talking to me? Are they judging me as a parent? Crap, did my kid yell at their kid or something? So after mumbling the normal niceties about weather and how old is your child I would come up with a lie and say ok bud it’s time to go. My son would cry and I would promise him a cookie or something. Anything to get me out of the awkward, or what I thought was awkward, conversation. I guess that’s what social anxiety is.
As time went by I started getting depressed. I would call my best friend and we would hang out but I couldn’t hang with her everyday. She lived an hour away. This was before she moved out of the state. Our children would play. She would tell me to join a club or activity to meet other stay at home moms. I said I would think about it and never do it. Then came the day she moved away. I cried. I was alone. It was isolating. I loved being an at home parent to my kids but I needed something more. I had to …. Change. I needed to talk to people. This might sound silly but when your a person with social anxiety it’s very difficult. I started reading articles on how to talk to people which sounds funny and weird but a person with social anxiety feels constantly judged. I do anyway. So where can you make some parent friends.
- Your children’s friend’s parents. Yea although i have never gotten close with any of them. Did I mention I get nervous talking to new people. I feel like I’m Raj from The Big Bang Theory except I’m just trying to talk with my peers not flirt. My best friend told me to out my number on a piece of paper and when I go pick up my son from preschool go up to one of his friends moms and say hey our kids play so well together. Here is my number and call me if you want to set up a play date. And you know what it worked.
- I started going up to moms sitting at the park and actually saying hi. I talk more about just the weather. I try to put myself out there to the neighborhood moms. This works out great until your son spits at their kid. That’s a different story though.
- I’m looking to join a class at Michaels or Joanns. Maybe I can find a walking group somewhere near us then I can exercise too! I had a stroller walking group mom come up to us while at the mall playground once. It’s sounds super fun although it’s Wednesday mornings and that’s the day my son goes to preschool for the summer so the scheduling doesn’t work out.
- This next one is hard for me. My husband has lots of work friends. So maybe we will have a bbq. Some of them have to have kids right?
I’m sure I’m not the only mom that has this issue. There are a lot of introverted people out there right? Luckily my husband and best friend encourage me to go out and make friends or at least talk to people. Sometimes when I get shot down by people I tend to build a wall. For protection. But that’s only making the problem bigger. I think the key is understanding that I am causing my own problem by shying away from people. And the way to fix it is making myself get out there. Do you feel isolated as a stay at home parent? What do you do that helps you?
Have you heard of Usborne Books and More? It’s a fabulous company that sells books. They offer so many types. Lots of supplemental books for homeschooling. So many reference books and encyclopedias that you would want in your library. Early readers and intro into phonics. Activity, coloring and sticker books for those long car rides. Fiction from pre-reader to high school. I could spend hours on how great they are.
I attended a Facebook party , yes a party of Facebook, and bought a few and thought wow this is such a cool company to work for. The party itself was about an hour. The hostess has us answer fun trivia questions and everyone was entered to win a drawing for a free book. The hostess also posted pictures of different books that we might be interested in. She was very knowledgable if we had any questions. It was fun for a Tuesday night!
So I joined. I come from a family of readers and I want my family now to do the same. And Usborne offers so much material. I’ve been stocking up on their activity books for our vacation coming up. Did I mention a lot of the books are under $10 bucks!
For the next month or so I can offer double free books for throwing a Facebook party. My last hostess earned $120.00 in free books. That’s a lot of books for the summer! The only thing you have to do is invite friends, I do the rest.
If you are interested in throwing a party or just have some questions contact me. My last hostess earned $120.00 in free books. That’s a lot of books! You can also check out my book site by clicking Here!
Happy Monday. Hope everyone had a nice weekend and has had the chance to drink copious amounts of coffee! I had the awesome chance to sit down with Renee Charytan and discuss with her about her book, If You Give a Mommy a Glass of Wine. You can check out her book here.
It was super hilarious and just a delightful read. It is about a stay at home mom who goes through her normal routine and obstacles getting in her way. It’s definently relatable as a stay at homemom its hard to complete anything. Its also a quick read too since the only thing we have time to read are childrens stories and our facebook feeds. You can check out my interview here.
So run over to amazon and buy her book. It’s really fantastic. Just click on the first link and it will take you right to her amazon page.
Thanks for reading!
I grew up in the late 80s and early 90s. My bike was my method of transportation. I drank soda and spent my allowance on non organic sugary treats at the local convenience store. My friends would spend the night and we watched SNICK on Saturday night. I didn’t have a cell phone and beepers were fairly new. I think I knew maybe one person with one. I lived the typical childhood of that time. But now that I have kids of my own I realize that kids these days just don’t do a lot of those things. Kids now seem to be so busy with after school and weekend activities. They eat incredible well. It appears that kids don’t watch tv at all or at least very little. It’s funny to think that we as parents we worry about or don’t allow our own children to live as we did. And it wasn’t too long ago.
Before I had kids I wanted to be a parent that I thought was perfect. No tv. Constant play groups and lessons. All organic. Breast fed babies. But life happens. So after failing at my goals at parenthood, I realized my parents didn’t raise me with those goals and I turned out just fine. Here is how my kids lived as I did, many moons ago.
- My kids eat cereal with sugar in it. Think Froot Loops, Frosted Flakes. Do they eat it every day, well no because they also like waffles with syrup. No my children do not eat the amount of sugar I did back then, but they do have some sugar. Honestly if you look at grams of sugar on the box it can compare to some of the kids yogurts on the store shelves.
- We watch tv and movies. I usually let them watch tv in the morning, while I drink coffee and wake up and then in the evening while I make dinner. Also like that last point, they do not watch as much as I did but it’s not forbidden. We also do keep the tv on channels that are appropriate for their age. I’ve also introduced some of the older Disney movies.
- So my husband used to play video games. And still has most of the systems. Like all the way back to the Atari. Yep. And because he really doesn’t have time to play them anymore by himself he usually takes our son and sets up the Atari or Ninetendo and play some old school, non violent, games. My son loves them and loves to comment on how hard it is to see what is going on. Gotta love old video game technology. He also can beat his dad in PacMan now.
- Play in the mud. My kids love jumping in mud puddles. And get completely dirty. Mud pies and mud castles. My sisters and I would play in the dirt and mud all day in the summer. My mom would even bring out old pans and mixing bowls with spoons. Sometimes I even go out there with them and we all become a big mess.
- Run through the sprinklers in the back yard. There are a lot of neighborhoods that have splash pads and pools. We do not live in one of those neighborhoods. My kids have a great advantage in learning to swim at their great grandmas. But during the week when it’s super hot turning on the hose in the backyard provides a great cool down. Toy stores have awesome sprinklers now. We have a three tiered turtle that in connect and they just love it.
- We don’t go to many playgroups. Not that I am against them. If you have a found a playgroup that you love, awesome. I have not. I took my older child to a few and there was just a lot of comparing and contrasting of kids abilities. Or some of the mothers told me what I was doing wrong. So we just don’t sign up for many of them anymore. No, my kids make friends at school or if we take a walk in the neighborhood and see some at the neighborhood park. I don’t think my mom ever took me to a playgroup. She did take us to the park and library and other places where kids might be. But a planned and organized play group, no.
I love being able to share some of my favorite past times with my kids. We live in a different time obviously, than when I was growing up. Rules and advice change. But somethings don’t have to change. I think anyway you play with your kids and spending quality time with them, everyone benefits.
Have you introduced an activity to your child that you did as a kid?
Please check out the interview and post I did for Etsy shop owner Nikkie. She runs Olivia Noel Designs and she has beautiful crochet pieces! www.etsy.com/shop/olivianoeldesigns
This interview is featured on www.thisnerdymom.com